Rating: 4.5 / 5.0 (370 votes)
Canned
The Magical Mystery Advertising Campaign is dying to take you away! Dying to take you away! Take you today! Everybody wants to be faster, stronger, younger, sexier, safer, wealthier, and all of the above with as little effort as possible. Even the staunchest disbelievers in the supernatural look to the pharmaceutical industry, Silicon Valley, and the great American political machine (to name a few) for miraculous solutions for their various woes. Sadly, all that the seekers typically receive in return for their money, votes, fandom, and/or absolute allegiance is some razzle and some dazzle. Therefore, here’s my tribute to the beautiful but empty promises that arrive hermetically sealed for our protection. In 3D, no less, because nothing better says “Behold the glorious future that's firmly within our grasp!” than an inadequate, headache-inducing illusion of depth made possible with red/blue lensed glasses. Yes, the design actually does mimic depth with the aid of a pair of those specs! Make certain the red lens covers your left eye and the blue your right, then gasp with amazement and hope for tomorrow!